Maybe You Wouldn't Be Sad

Digital video, 16:9 aspect ratio, colour, sound, 1:45 minutes. 
2015

The three-part video shows some almost still footages of a flower arrangement and hears a recorded conversation between me and my mother on the topic of death. 

 

The title, Maybe You Wouldn't Be Sad, is directly lifted from the last spoken sentence by my mother in the video. The name of this work comes from a personal and tender place with the intention to remember this idea — that my mother had determined and assumed that if there would be a resolution to her life, I would not be sad about her eventual passing. It is actually a very surreal idea to hold because even as the first person I would not be confident to foretell how I would feel in that moment of the future.

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The English transcript to the conversation reads:

 

(Part one)

 

Me: Mummy, where do you think people go after they die?

 

Mother: I think… maybe.. like, I’m not sure.. but, I think.. it’s either like what I saw on tv, if not, it’s like the old myth seen at the Har Par Villa, I used to believe people will go to the 18 Levels of Hell after they die.

 

 

(Part two)

 

Me: Mummy, are you afraid to die?

 

Mother: Me? Hmm.. At the moment, maybe? I feel like I still have many things left undone, like it’s too soon to die.

 

 

(Part three)

 

Me: Wouldn’t you worry if we would be devastated?

 

Mother: Maybe you guys will feel sad. But I feel that maybe there will be sadness, but if I managed to complete the things I should do and I passed on naturally, maybe you wouldn’t be sad.